I was a Girl Scout, once upon a time, and I have always been extremely proud of the Girl Scouts continuing moves to support equality and open-mindedness. Unlike Boy Scouts, which has banned participation of anyone who doesn’t fit into their narrow and bigoted world view, the Girl Scouts have actively supported inclusiveness of all girls and diversity among their membership, no matter what, and have done so from the very beginning of the organization. However, the Girl Scouts are now under attack for the very same supportive and welcoming policies that I have always praised, and from one of their own.

A Girl Scout is calling for a boycott of Girl Scout cookies in a youtube video. Why? Because Girl Scouts allows transgirls to join and participate. (Update: Looks like the Hate-Mongering Girl Scout has now set her video to private. Maybe she learned a bit of a lesson here?)

Here’s the thing. The Girl Scout Mission? This is it:

Girl Scouting builds girls of courage, confidence and character, who make the world a better place.

And the girl in this video? She’s not making the world a better place, she’s spreading hate and bigotry and has become one of those people ensuring that the world is a more dangerous place for transwomen.  And all you have to do is read the news to know how dangerous a place it already is.  And here she is, wanting to stop one of the sources of income for an organization that has become one of the few safe places out there for a transgirl. For that, honestly, I think she should be the one banned from participating in the Girl Scouts.

Girl Scouts is all about empowering girls and turning them into strong, independent women. It’s just the sort of confidence-boosting organization and help that a girl in a particularly difficult situation might need.  Allowing transgirls to join and participate could very well save lives, by giving that child a community where she is welcomed and included.

So here’s what I propose: Let that boycott proposal have the opposite result, and let the GLBT community and our friends come out to support this organization that has been so supportive of us. So here’s the plan:

Buy All The Cookies.

I’m trying to eat healthier, but I’ll buy boxes as gifts and give them away all over the place if I have to. (While reserving one box of my favorite, Thin Mints, to stick in the freezer at home, of course.) I’ll buy what I can afford and do whatever I can to help.

To find a place where you can buy cookies, just go here: http://www.girlscoutcookies.org/ and they’ll give you the nearest cookie station, or alternatively you can contact your local Girl Scout Council to find out how to contact and help your local troop or how to donate, if you don’t want to buy cookies.

Help them out. They deserve it.

Motivation (By Debbi Redpath Ohi at InkyGirl)

There’s this thing that happens to almost every writer I know.

It’s the inevitable confrontation with the person who thinks that writing should be an easy job or that you should get a different, better paying “real” job.

In my case, it’s my mom who calls with the prospective jobs and/or entrepreneurial opportunities that, if I actually took them, I would 1. End up broke and living off of her again; 2. End Up Miserable; 3. (likely as a result of #2) End Up Fired; or 4. End up locked in a rubber room somewhere because I don’t have time to write and writing keeps me sane.

I don’t resent this. My mom means well, and generally, she’s an awesome person and I wish I could be as awesome as she is.  But see . . . I have this “making ends meet” day job that is awesome for several reasons, namely:

1. My Boss Is Awesome.
2. My Boss is willing to deal with my (often quite severe) social anxiety problems. Said social anxiety problems have been a significant handicap in other jobs in the past, and I don’t particularly want to give up a job where they are not an issue. Because when they are an issue, it tends to lead to a pink slip.
3. As long as I get my work done, I am allowed to write in my spare time. Said writing occasionally leads to me making other money, doing the thing I consider my actual, you know, career.

The other person who will drive me crazy is my grandfather, who knows that I have a small handful of completed novels but can’t seem to understand why I’m not already raking in the big bucks.

“You’ve finished that novel? Why haven’t you made it into a book yet?”

I try to explain the process, that a completed novel doesn’t necessarily equate a novel ready for publication.  The finished novel still must be polished.  Then it must be sent to beta readers.  Then it must be polished again, with a finer grain of sand, perhaps, like a rock in a polisher.  Each time, it becomes shinier and more beautiful, but only once you’ve gotten it as shiny as you possibly can will you send it in to be set into a piece of jewelery.

And of course, at that point, it takes luck and perseverance.  You have to find an agent willing to take you on. That agent then has to find you a publisher.

But it is not instant, or easy.

It’s not just writers that come across this.  It seems to happen to all people who pursue a creative career, sometimes even after they have found success. I know at least one fairly successful artist friend who complains that her father is constantly after her to seek out a job designing art for advertisements. A “real” job.

Even those who are the most supportive of our creative careers can’t seem to wrap their mind around one particular thing:

Not Doing it is Not An Option.

I write because I can’t not write.  When I’m not writing, I become even less functional as a human being, which speaking for my usual state of “functional” is really saying something.  Writing quiets the little people who like to run around playing havoc in my brain so that I can concentrate a little better.  Writing makes the faerie on my shoulder shut the hell up.  Use whatever metaphor you want to use, but the simple fact of the matter is: I can’t not write if I want to continue to be.  And writing fiction as a career is all I’ve ever wanted to do and all I will ever want to do.

Everything else is just a paycheck, and if the paycheck can come from a source that can understand or at least put up with my personal brand of insanity, then I’m sure as hell not going to give that blessing up.

How many more have to die?

How many more teens will be driven to the brink, surrounded on all sides by nothing but bigotry and hate, often coming even from their own parents, before something is done to protect them?

How many more, before schools and parents and youth organizations realize that something must be done?

And that something can’t be “We’re sending you to conversion therapy so you can hate who you are even more.”

That something can’t be telling them that the way they were born was a choice, and that choice means that God hates them, that the World hates them, that they are wrong.

This is not suicide. This is murder by proxy, and the blood is on the hands of the bullies who have convinced these children that the only option is death. Of every parent to make their gay child hate themselves, of every teacher that ignored the signs. It’s on the hands of every homophobe who has made an offhand comment or joke in the hearing of a random stranger who was struggling, on the inside, with coming to terms with who they are.

It is time to reach out to these teens, to tell them they are not alone, that others have been through the same things and survived, and thrived. Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project is a good start.  I am, in fact, working on a video of my own for the project. The Trevor Project is a good start. But in order for these things to work, the teens out there who are struggling with their identity need to know about them.

The GLBT community needs to reach out, but more than that, the straight caregivers, teachers, counselors, school administrators – they all need to know how to deal with these issues. They all need to know what resources are out there.  And they need to start allowing representatives of the GLBT community into their schools to talk to students about these issues.

But more than that, it’s time to get angry. It’s time to fight the hate.  Too many have died.

Will you stand by and wait for more to die before you do something? Before you come out and stand proud and say “This is NOT OKAY, and I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

Related articles

• A Troubling Trend: Discussing Bullying and Antigay Attitudes (learning.blogs.nytimes.com)
• A Letter To Gay Youth & America From Bette Midler (perezhilton.com)
• Hot line serves as 24/7 lifeline for struggling gay youths (cnn.com)
• Gay Teen Suicides: Why We’re Honoring National Coming Out Month (gayrights.change.org)
• “Project Runway: Tim Gunn Speaks Out Against Recent Teen Suicides” and related posts (realitytvmagazine.sheknows.com)

I don’t usually post here about my activities in World of Warcraft – that’s usually reserved for my WoW dedicated blog, to keep from clogging up this blog with too much WoW.  For the last six months or so, I’ve been on an extended hiatus from the game, but was planning to come back when the next expansion, Cataclysm, comes out. In fact, I was beginning to get really excited about it.

Initially the implementation of RealID in WoW didn’t worry me too much, beyond the thought that people might get annoyed with me for not friending them back. It was optional and you had control over who would have your information.

Then this happened:

The first and most significant change is that in the near future, anyone posting or replying to a post on official Blizzard forums will be doing so using their Real ID — that is, their real-life first and last name — with the option to also display the name of their primary in-game character alongside it. These changes will go into effect on all StarCraft II forums with the launch of the new community site prior to the July 27 release of the game, with the World of Warcraft site and forums following suit near the launch of Cataclysm. The classic Battle.net forums, including those for Diablo II and Warcraft III, will be moving to a new legacy forum section with the release of the StarCraft II community site and at that time will also transition to using Real ID for posting.

The official forums have always been a great place to discuss the latest info on our games, offer ideas and suggestions, and share experiences with other players — however, the forums have also earned a reputation as a place where flame wars, trolling, and other unpleasantness run wild. Removing the veil of anonymity typical to online dialogue will contribute to a more positive forum environment, promote constructive conversations, and connect the Blizzard community in ways they haven’t been connected before. With this change, you’ll see blue posters (i.e. Blizzard employees) posting by their real first and last names on our forums as well.

Now, I would be the first person to agree that Blizzard needs to do something about their forums, which are a haven of villainy and scum.  Since early in my first few months of playing the game, I learned to avoid the official forums like the plague. The majority of posters there have no other thought than to troll and bully people.  Over the period of time I have spent playing the game, my posts on the official forums have been limited to event announcements as guildmaster of an active roleplaying guild, bug reports, and technical support questions.  It is true that anonymity encourages the bad behavior. However, that same anonymity also helps to maintain the security and privacy of people who aren’t behaving badly.

Now, it’s not hard to find out my real name. I’ve got it all over the place. As a professional writer, it is important that I maintain a web presence under my real name in various locations and on various social networks. It’s not really something I hide all that much, and the fact that I play WoW is no great secret.  However, I do know a large number of people who have every reason in the world not to want their real names associated with their activities in an online environment, or to have strangers they might meet in that online environment know their real name.

Here are some of the problems I see immediately with this issue:

First of all, I happen to live in a state where it is still possible to be fired from your job for being gay. It is a state where violence against gays is still a major issue and there are no hate laws. In the last three months, I have seen in the news at least two unprovoked attacks against gay men in my state, one resulting in severe injury and the other, just this last weekend, only escaping injury  because the victims knew self defense techniques.

For a long time, World of Warcraft has been one of a few places where people who are still forced to be in the closet, be they gay, transgendered, or gender-queer, could be themselves without fear of real life repercussions. There are many prominent gay guilds in the game. Attaching real names to characters and guilds and removing anonymity could potentially force people out of the closet in-real-life. Many of these same people have good reason to fear not just for their jobs but also for their personal safety if their secret is exposed.

Second, I know of a number of women who purposely play male characters to avoid being harassed due to their gender. It is unfortunate, but misogyny and sexual harassment are major issues in the gaming community, and WoW has more than its fair share.  Exposing real names on the forums would also expose the gender of those who choose to play characters of opposite gender for reasons beyond “I just liked the way they looked.”  It is quite often difficult to be a woman and be a gamer – you have to constantly fight against the assumption that just because you’re a woman you can’t tank, you can’t PvP, you can’t…play as well as a male.  A lot of women have avoided this by playing male characters and pretending to be male.  There are also women who have been stalked and harassed by real-life ex-boyfriends or in-game acquaintances in the game who have escaped them by rolling new characters with new names on new servers, retreating into anonymity. Removing that anonymity would expose them to further harassment.  It could even provide a means for stalkers and rapists to locate victims. There’s a reason why we teach our young girls to keep their Facebook profiles private and to not give out personal information. To do so compromises their security and puts them in danger. It makes it easier for predators to find them.

What happens when the first murderer finds his victim through the WoW forums, Blizzard? Or the first pedophile? Because they are there. I have had personal contact (and reported on multiple occasions) at least one pedophile that is still playing the game.  What happens when the first homophobe decides to take up arms against someone that got outed on the WoW forums? With a real name, it’s not that difficult to find an address, or find out where someone works, or harass them, blackmail them, harm them.

True, murder and rape would be the most extreme potential ramifications, but they should be considered. The fact that people could lose their jobs if their identity is revealed should have been considered.

Of course, the way to keep from losing anonymity is to avoid posting on the forums at all, but where is this violation of privacy going to stop, Blizzard? And did you really want to leave a significant portion of your customer population faced with the choice between asking a tech support question and preserving their own personal safety?

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• Blizzard exposes real names on WoW forums (go.theregister.com)
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Warning: The following post contains some adult language.

I’ve been in a bit of an ill-tempered mood this week, so I decided to put this post on the back burner overnight and come back to it to make sure it wasn’t too ranty. But no, after reading it this morning, I think it entails the proper amount of rant for the situation. I’m pissed off. Thoroughly, and with full justification.

Here’s the situation. I have health insurance. I only went without for a couple of years while I was unemployed.  I started out with really good health insurance, actually, but the company (Blue Cross Blue Shield of Georgia) raised my monthly premiums by an average of $50 on an annual basis. I tolerated it for the first few years, but over the last few the increases have been beyond what my budget can handle, and I’ve had to downgrade to a higher deductible, lower benefit plan. Even so, I stayed under the same carrier and even the same member group.

This year they increased my premiums by $60 in March. Today I got a notice that they will be increasing my monthly premium again by $60 in July.

That’s a healthcare premium increase of $120.00/month over the course of less than six months, bringing my premium up to what amounts to a week and a half’s pay.

Now . . . keep in mind that I am in what is probably the best health of my life, where I am neither starving myself as I did in high school or eating mounds and mounds of junk food as I did in college.  I eat healthy. I do an hour of high intensity exercise every day.  I haven’t been to the doctor in years except for my annual physical, which I get at a sliding fee clinic and pay for out of pocket, because over the last couple of years I’ve been forced to raise my deductible to the point where that is the only way I can afford to go.

The only thing that I have ever used my health insurance to pay for since I have had it was an eye exam and a pair of glasses.

I just did the calculations , and this means that I have paid approximately (and this is on the low end) $12,000.00 in premiums for . . . a pair of glasses.

But BCBS feels justified in raising my premium by almost $120/month over the course of less than six months.

Yeeeeah. I’m tempted to drop my insurance entirely and wait out the five years until the new healthcare regulations go into effect, but at the same time I’m terrified that in the backlash will result in a Republican Congress that will repeal and destroy the one hope I’ve had in years for decent healthcare. The free market system for healthcare doesn’t work.  I have health insurance, yes . . . but I still can’t afford to go to the doctor. True, I need it little now, but if I did need it, or goddess forbid, I had an accident of some sort and had to go to the hospital, I would be bankrupt.

Right now I’m looking into the healthcare savings plans offered through my bank, as that may be the best option for me right now.  I’ve tried free market health insurance, and all it ever did was screw me up the ass.  It’s little more than protection money.  I pay through the nose for no benefit whatsoever. It’s time to look into other options.  And I think I’ll be writing to the state insurance commissioner. A $120 increase in monthly premiums in such a short time has to raise some red flags somewhere.

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• BlueCross BlueShield will cover you – after you die (trueslant.com)
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